A Humble Plan

There are too many homeless people. We need to get rid of them. I have an idea of how to do so, and this is it.

Well, most of the homeless want to be homeless. They enjoy it. They get free meals at soup kitchens, and that gives them enough time to do drugs and drink Thunderbird. I would say 8 out of 10 are like this. For the remaining 2 out of 10, this plan doesn't apply.

First we need to stop giving them food, handouts and warm places to stay when it gets cold during the winter. We should allow them to just fend for themselves. For places like in the Northeast this will kill of many of them during sub zero temperatures. (When have you seen a homeless people in Alaska?) Exposure and frostbite will eliminate the weakest of them.

The trouble with this is that it will encourage crime among the ones that didn't die of exposure. Hobos and vagrants will be desperate for hooch money and food that they might turn to crime. That is why I believe that every citizen must be armed with at least a .38 caliber handgun to fend off the homeless. It is therefore going to be required to be lawful to kill homeless people on sight. This law will also alllow homeless people to kill and eat other homeless people.

With a bounty on their heads combined with the prospects of being killed for sport by the homeful among us, or killed for food by other bums the homeless will have sufficient incentive to not be homeless anymore.

The ones who really lack the incentives will, of course, be eliminated by hunting and starvation.

With my plan there will no longer be homeless people within 10 years.

Posted by psugrad98 at February 10, 2004 02:45 PM